Navigating Chores As Newly Weds

Ryan and I have struggled with the topic of chores since we’ve gotten married. With me working full time and Ryan being in school full time, we are both busy people. In our free time, we want to work on our hobbies, hang out with friends/each other, and just relax. Sometimes, we let go of keeping up with chores. Then, whenever we become stressed about it, we blame each other for not doing enough around the house. I think we’ve had more arguments about chores since getting married than about anything else.

The struggle is we both feel like we are contributing more than our fair share. I think this happens because we have opposing schedules during the week. So, while he is cleaning, I am at work. And when I am cooking to meal prep/make dinner or doing the dishes, he is at school. So we never actually SEE each other doing their part, and realize how much time it takes.

I know and expect that things will change at different times of our lives. For example, I will be happy to do most of the chores and cooking when I work a little/not at all when we have young children. Right now, though I am working to gain hours for PA school and to pay the bills. And Ryan’s studying hard so that one day I will only work if I want to :P. #newlywedlife

Since we both spend most of our time out of the house, and don’t fall into the typical “gender roles” (I’m the breadwinner, for now πŸ˜‰ ), we both feel like we need to pull our weight chores. But our methods to get chores done have not succeeded… and have led to way too many arguments.

Time For A Change

Since we both ultimately want a clean house, and we need to stop making cleaning and cooking a competition, we both agreed to make a chore chart. So I created one! And decided to share it with you guys. I think it can be useful to many people- married couples, singles, roommates, etc.- to help keep your house clean and organized.

The Chore Chart

This chore chart is divided into daily, weekly, biweekly, and monthly tasks. Feel free to download the chart and customize it to fit your needs in your home! You will need to print out 4 of the first page to have charts for the entire month. Pages 2 and 3 are for weekly, biweekly, and monthly charts that will last you the entire month. Or, you can laminate them and use a dry erase marker to save some paper πŸ™‚ Also, feel free to add dates by the “weeks” for the weekly and biweekly chores if this will help you stay more organized!

Click here for the chore chart

Why A Chore Chart Will Be Helpful

Eventually we hope to get to the point where completing chores just come naturally. For now, we are still learning how to be married and take care of a house, so this list will help keep us accountable. And honestly help us to realize what all needs to be done! (We both had it pretty easy growing up of not having to do many chores). It also feels good, and helps me feel more productive, to be able to physically check things off a list.

I didn’t assign either of us specific tasks because I know there are some weeks where one of us is busier. (Usually this is Ryan, with tests and finals and papers). Instead of turning chores into a competition of who does more, we are now a team. WE have a set list of things we need to accomplish each day, week, two weeks, and month. Therefore, when we need to do a little extra to help the team out, it’s no big deal. We love each other and are married, after all. -If this doesn’t work and it’s still a competition of “I checked off more than you this week… we will have to sit down to reassess and assign each other specific tasks that we feel are “fair.”

So, we hope that this chore chart will solve most of our housework arguments! I will give an update about whether the chore chart is working for us, and if we made any changes in a month or so.

Do you have any advice of how to handle household chores being married? Comment below!


One Response

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